Children's Corner

Children's literature is a safe and fun way to encourage a child's imagination, to improve a child's communication skills, and build a child's interpersonal skills. Below are some books I read to my children in their growing years. What are your favorite children's books?   

Always movin' On: The Life of Langston Hughes 

 Baby Signs

My Daddy Longlegs 

Somebody's Dog 

The Adventures of Peter Cottontail

Who's A pest 

 

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Meeting A Man

FAQ: When is the right time to meet a man when you have children? 

Honestly, the best answer I can muster, is when you value yourself enough to know you are a total package. 

FAQ: Am I a total package without the biological parent involvement?

Yes, you have children by ANOTHER man, but the dynamics of that relationship did not work and it is unrepairable. 

FAQ: What to do when I am ready to date?

So, here you are seeking a companion who is man enough to handle what your past relationship could not. Lets be frank. That strain relationship fell strain for a reason rather the relationship was on the brink before children or the weight of responsibility of children was the straw that broke the camels back, your past relationship failed. As a result, you do not have to stay single. Conception of children by a man does not mandate your stay.

FAQ: Why do structure of relationships matter?

Just to give insight on myself, when I conceived children with the men that were in my life, the delivery of my children meant I became less than human, or at least that is how I felt. I also was not desired because my view point of life changed. I didn't feel loved or have a welcome warmth to motherhood. In fact, my parents were upset. Which was understood because my children were conceived out of wedlock. My first child's father either didn't believe I was pregnant or was too drunk to understand. Even after the father of my child was aware of my pregnancy the father of my child insisted it wasn't his. After my daughter was born he still denied her and tried to label me as selfish. Life went on for me. I moved to Florida and God blessed me to be around people who showed me different. I brought my daughter into the world with family I hadn't seen in years. It was surreal because the family who was in the delivery room I last seen when I was a child. I appeared out of nowhere grown as ever, pregnant, like HI. I can imagine that was a rude shocker.

FAQ: Is relationships worth repair?

I left the relationships because instead of bunches of love for delivery of life into the world, I received reluctance. I was called selfish, told, "I didn't know what I was doing", the child isn't mine, and no show. Complete opposite of what I thought a faithful twenty year old would receive. I didn't allow what I received to jeopardize the life I would give to my children. I went through times of hurt. I often asked myself what did I do wrong. Guess what the answer was? I treated momentarily people in my life as permanent people. Permanent people as optional. In other words, the momentarily people were people who were passing through my life. I gave to them my time and loyalty.  Where as the permanent people were people that rode the waves with me and I figured they would always be around. Nonetheless, I am still here and haven't given up on love. 

FAQ: How do you keep your sanity?

I have come up with this very true statement: I am a total package. A man cannot date me without my children. To love me is to love my children. I know, there are men who are unacceptive of this idea  because the child or children are not his and he may want to have children. But that is where the saying, "I am a total package" come to play. The relationship with another man will take time it should be of joy and feel like light is luminated into everyone's space. So, now I ask, when is the right time for the man I met to meet my children? 

TTYL,

MommyNMeTours 💋

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Over Labels

As single moms we have to do what we have to do in every aspect of our lives to generate income and have a healthy social life to sustain our mental strengths in reference to juggle bills, babies, employment, and people. All of which will exhaust even the professional organizer. Sometimes, the human body will overload or overwhelm. My experience as a single mom vary from a high of desire to be out on the town to no desire to be bothered at all. Single motherhood is a give and take commitment to empower and educate. However, I acquired the knowledge to balance my energy so that it is equal between myself and the world to prevent the feel of burnout when it is time to focus on what matters. 

Accept the reality of motherhood- the world will mold itself. Motherhood does not come with a manual! The beginning phase of motherhood will be rough. If you have love ones to navigate motherhood with you, trust me you are blessed! Join a social group, have play dates, girl's night in or out, and spa day to keep your mind in  stimulation beyond your child's age. In retrospect, I past a couple of years just my children and myself (strictly QT time between us) and my behavior showed. My children's language became my language. We would have little bouts that would cause me to mentally shrink! I have to admit, quality time at 7,8,9,10 years old was fun while transition in growth milestones continue.

I owe a lot of gratitude to my family who help me with my children as I take on the world of responsibilies. If any priority suddenly changes it will be a snow ball effect: bills past due, lack of motivation, cocoon from the world, unable to deal with difficult personalities. Get my drift? As a single mom the most important thing to stay afloat is to be positive because there are so many negatives that will out way the good. It is important to surround yourself with positive giving people and not giving as in items or money but giving such as a prayer or kind jester, people who pour into you and not take. 

Unfortunately, there are times when priority does suddenly change which is why a support system is important. Now, remember I am a woman, I can't speak for the single fathers out there but for the absent fathers the excuses are redundant. Focus on the good and over time the bad will be outweighed. As the saying goes, "Only time can heal," The word single will be just another term.         

PASSIVE INCOME IDEAS:

• Participate in paid surveys 
• Sell unwanted or too small clothes 
• Yard sales or online sells 
• Protect the least suspectable items in your pocession with insurance 

TTYL,

MommyNMeTours 💋

   

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Fruits and Veggies of Life

 While, my children are nearly at their pre-teen stages of life the gifts of motherhood are abundant. I'm blessed with the opportunity to see my children grow from foundations I have instilled in them from a small person point of view, such as: 

How to love

How to care for themselves 

How to articulate their feelings 

How to communicate 

How to get through one day to the next 

My motherhood has been quite a journey as it has required me to grow as a person. My circle of friends changed because some friends did not have children. My world became demanding. When I had children it was no longer just about me. I'll admit, at times caring for two small children at the age of 21 made me sad not because I had children, but because of who, what, when, and how. I wasn't able to run off with my friends as I once did. I wasn't able to have normal conversations over the phone without babies crying in the background. Sometimes I had to put the person on hold to quickly care for babies who depended solely on me. I remember feeling hopeless in having my children because it wasn't how I envisioned or planned. Nevertheless, I am honored and blessed to be their Mom. 

A lot of times when I discuss how unhappy I was with how I spent my twenty's, people automatically hint at, "that's your fault." Or, "you had a choice." The reality of that is harsh. Especially hearing it from a person's mouth. In my younger years I lived as if I was invincible. I had all my years ahead of me, I'm young, is what I thought to myself everyday I woke up. I'm still young, now in my thirty's, however I'm much more aware of my choices as I navigate life.     

Motherhood for me is full of rewards. I get to watch my children who started off as blabbing, drooling, goo-goo gaa bundle of joys to curious, questioning, adventurous small people. My favorite and will be most memorable moments are teaching my children how to walk, talk, catch, hold a spoon because those milestones were all part of motor gross skills; however, the developement stage to normal accuracy was a learning tool that is life satisfying. It's like planting a garden from scratch and seeing the vegetables sprout from the ground. How exciting is that! To harvest what one's time is invested in. 

Motherhood for me is like a garden! Fruits and Veggies of life.

What is your motherhood in a nutshell? 

TTYL,

MommyNMeTours 💋

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Welcome Aboard

Welcome to MommyNMeTours Blog where the blogging experience is to promote a community of mothers in network. I hope MommyNMeTours bring comfort to you (mommy) in your despair of the ever-changing world of motherhood that consist of bloopers and gains. This blog will offer short activity, passive income resources, poetry, reader's digest for children and adults, open dialog, and online sells. 

Feel free to comment to postings. Feel free to ask questions. Feel free to post in relevance. 

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